Sea Glass Poem: What Gets Lost

I wrote this free-write prose poem while at the ocean the other day. Again, it was sixty degrees and December and a glorious gift to seek, search and make meaning of some of my own personal challenges in 2008. This isn’t about any one person, but more about major relationships that change as I age. While the changes below are rough and rocky there have been incredible and wonderful changes too in my personal relationships.

 

What Gets Lost

Buried under sand and rock,

pieces too sharp

to pocket or polish

edges cutting

at my heart

 

I’ve left behind loved ones in 2008

their shapes

invisible

as angels in the snow

once distinct and defined

now washed up 

beyond recalling.

 

I tried to push the pieces deep

in granules

to hasten

smoothing

but only Mother Nature

has such power.

 

There are pieces and people

I could not carry 

I too

have been dropped

from hands.

Loved ones

rolled me

towards the sea,

a bowling ball

too big

for the opening

of a crystal vase.

 

I broke edges,

cracked corners

threatened

to crumble

glass

under the weight of me.

I misunderstood

my size, how disguised

to some

is my identity.

 

I leaped, a fish on sand,

smothering in air.

“Let me back into the water,”

I plead,

where oxygen

is not deadening.

Who can argue with the sea?

Not  I with

a palm

this outstretched

and tiny.

 

It is said sea glass

is three quarters soft

I found the rough edges

of me and everyone this year

and emerged.

 

I discoveried ridges and bumps,

letters and patterns

unknown

worth treasure.

Other times, it seemed

the ocean turned

on me.

Her floor,

once the rug of water

pulled back

revealed grimy shells,

lobster legs and scars,

and left me

wondering

if 10,000 rocks

of kindness,

heart-shaped even

coult be reclaimed 

by one stormy tide.

 

Ripped,

and sideways

on jagged rocks.

Losing footing

on the rocks

once

my familiar paths.

 

My beach

but not my beach.

My heart

but not my heart.

Can trust change hue

the way a white piece of sea glass

seems white on the sand and

but is pink

once homed?

The glass

bare on my counter

warmed by a towel

looks different

than at the ocean

where I reached

into icy water

and placed it in my hand.

Can some things

only be seen

in contrast?

 

Tears flow more often in my forties.

I  close eyes,

think of words and letters,

images and memories.

I wipe water, find sea weed

sticking to my face

and the fishy odor

distracts me from

the enormity

of a breathless landscape.

 

Sentences,

tossed like rocks,

skipping once or twice

fall, erect barriers

bigger than good-bye.

Love is not gone,

but pummeled

beyond recognition.

 

The storm is not cruel

it drags up new gems

bright purple and L-shaped.

I found the piece of a milk bottle

a sliver of a shard

once holding nutrients

and the compassion of the ocean

who holds brown pieces

which may have carried

whiskey to a drunk

with the same tender

rocking.

She does not call out

naming recklessness or purity,

saying “you are goodness and you beyond forgiveness.”

 

But I am not the ocean

or Mother Nature

but a boat

without oars,

eager for 2009

but weary,

not knowing

what will be harbored

in this new year.

 

Will I fail

to navigate?

Or worse,

be caught

greedy,

missing the bounty

of my own

shimmering

ocean floor?

 

Catch of the Day:Unrelated to above, except as in contrast, a wonderful day with my aunt and mother, shopping, talking, eating and walking. I am grateful for mendings that have happened over time as well as rifs that the heart can’t guard against. I watched the Bucket List this week. I won’t give away anything but it reminds one how brave and painful it is to live with an open heart AND how muand how much sadder it is to live with a closed one.

Read Full Post »

Rustic Market Makes the News

The Rustic Market made the news. Details about half the vendors (including sea glass arts) are in the article. I have to get a hard copy to see if the photos are different.

Here’s the link:
http://www.wickedlocal.com/cohasset/news/business/x776482476/Local-farmer-s-market-vendors-take-up-shop-at-Rustic-Market

I am so excited it is going to be a warm and beach-combing kind of day!

Read Full Post »

Sea Glass: Trading Marbles – Sort of…

“I found my first purple,” he said, “I never found purple.”

 

He, C, is four and my neighbor’s grandson. I see him a lot in the summer, enough to keep my daughter’s battery operated cars Thomas train tracks available for his visits. He loves to sea glass hunt and tires of it far less quickly than his cousin and sister so it was great to have time for a longer hunt.

 

“I only found two before and now I’m lucky,” he said, holding up his bag of mostly green pieces.

 

“You get better at spotting the pieces with practice,” I said.

 

He was willing to throw the sharp pieces away; showing me each find to make sure it passed the “not too sharp” for his Nana test. He walked, with his small shoulders to the edge of the water whenever a piece needed to be tossed.

 

One time he said, “What if I leave this piece here?” he said, “Maybe you can come back later and find it?” He was imagining that one tide could transform broken glass into sea glass.

 

Don’t we hope for miracle speed when our own brokenness sticks out of the stand sharp and dangerous and able to cut bare feet? Don’t we want to be smoothed over and bathed, transfigured into something precious and worth discovering rather than something relegated to more spin cycles? Who doesn’t want to be worn and glistening on the sand, a gem to be fought over and prized? We all say, “It’s about the journey not the destination,” but I’m not so sure who really means it.

 

I didn’t tell C how long it takes for broken bottles to become sea glass. He’s young and will learn on his own.

 

We walked further, in an hour, than I have ever walked alone even braving the slick rocks under a large metal dock before turning back.

 

“You can find new pieces on the walk back you missed on the way here,” I said. Almost immediately, as if to prove the point I spotted a dark green marble near his feet with white lines so dark they were almost gray. “I found a marble,” I said.

 

“Can I have it?” he said.

 

“I need to think about it,” I said.

 

“It’s so fun when you find one yourself,” I said, “Like your purple.”

 

I was really thinking I’ve only ever found two marbles on this beach and one I gave away to my daughter. I was thinking, “I want it.’

 

“I haven’t found a marble,” he said more than once on the trip back. His bag, fuller than it had ever been, was missing my marble.

 

“Listen to that, the waves through the rocks. It sounds like a rain stick,” I said, half because it was true and half to change the subject.

 

“Do you want to stop and listen to the waves?”

 

In my heart, I gave him the marble then. He had offered me, at four, a moment of stillness to stop and share the sound of water hitting pebbles. He would abandon his search for the joy of listening to the ocean.

 

He noticed how the sea gulls floated on the water; how the waves made them rise up and down but how they didn’t go under.  

 

“Look,” I said, “How about we trade one piece from each other’s bag back on the porch? “

 

“You can have any of my whites,” he said.

”A fair trade means I can pick any of yours and you can pick any of mine. We put them out and choose one. Do you want to do that?”

 

Maybe he’d say no after all to protect that purple piece I thought.

 

“O.k.,” he said.

We didn’t need to chat or fill air. We didn’t speak too much. He showed me his path around the marshy section of grass, said the huge waves could come up so fast he didn’t stay too close to the shore. He told me he hadn’t fished that year. I didn’t tell him as a vegetarian I don’t fish at all. He was a comrade in hunting, a companion on the twisty rocks who enjoyed looking down low and showing me crab shells, and lobster parts but we left them on the sand. “Those smell at home” he said. “Yes,” I said, grabbing only one large white oyster shell, open mouthed but attached.

 

“You might want to leave that,” he said.

”I like it,” I said, stuffing it into my back.

 

We ate orange popsicles and laid out our treasures.

 

“Do you want to count them?” he asked.

”Sure,” I said.

He counted up to twenty and said, “I can’t count higher than that,” and so I finished for him.  He had gathered about thirty pieces. And, with little hesitation he took my marble leaving me with about fifty pieces.

 

I eyed his purple, even lifting it up to the sky but ended by grabbing a solid and thick white piece. I couldn’t bear to take his first purple. He was full, not of popsicles, but of the quiet searching and gathering.

 

Read Full Post »

Sea Glass Angel Necklace

Here she is in necklace form. She’s my first sea glass angel necklace. I think she’s just adorable and I have to decide if I’ll do ornaments, necklaces or both but she’s suble and sea-glassy and makes me happy. I’ve returned to few beads and a lot of wire or silver. It’s fun because it feels like I’m really working with the shape of the sea glass.

Sometimes, as in the piece below I “see” a heart and other times, the piece itself is so true and undefinable but clear it seems more like a wrapped sculpture. 

And sometimes it’s “almost a heart’ and other times the glass is so stunning I just want to make sure whatever I do with the wire doesn’t ruin the integrity of the sea glasss.

Catch of the Day: Learning to make what I love not only what sells because if I’m left with the merchandise I’m making I want to adore the pieces and be happy to have them fill my home. There are no duplications in this process and there’s no point to doing work I don’t like even if It could sell. Sometimes I experiment but the fun is in learning, “What next? What now?” I could worry about the market, financial woes, who is going to buy any luxury items with money issues. I can’t control those things but I can love my art, see if it makes money enough to do it for part-time work or not. Different issues and the money can’t influence the art. I was never able to write for pay as it made my creative writing feel like work as well – instead of making me proficient and working the writing muscle. I have to honor the type of writer and artist I am regardless of what I think it might be “better” to be.

Read Full Post »

Sea Glass: Storms as Gems?

Unearthed at the Ocean

 

This morning, with my eyes closed, the ocean sounds like the breath of the universe. She inhales a gulp of water, retracts, holds and releases again. It’s not all calm and centered though. The sand, rocks and even the cement base of the stairs leading to to the ocean’s dry and traversable areas are subject to her moods and have been cracked and swept away in large chunks.

 

Everything can be rearranged, the earth, friendships, the solid foundations once unquestioned. It is terrifying and awe-inspiring to see the ocean in her power. I’ve walked the same beach for over a year, regularly, and seen changes. There are deep crevices in the sand, pits and water paths where once there were only tiny pebbles. Huge rocks, once looking as solid as mountains have been dislodged, and turned into soccer balls rolling the ocean base.

 

What was once almost a Getty like structure is starting, near the end, to have a mutiny. Lone rocks once holding together as part of a team or a famous band are split by tides and independent explorers pursuing solo career paths.

 

 

The ocean is constant but how she weathers the sand, the beach line and the rocks are not. In my friendships, boundaries get changed and it’s not always clear if a protective wall is coming down to to allow that great honesty and intimacy or if a crack in the foundation not repaired let dirt, insects and mold find a haven. Humbled, over and over, by the knowing that good intentions aren’t always enough and also more optimistic than ever that even the shape of change is not always a scary shadow on the bedroom wall.

 

 

“There should be some good hunting today,” my husband said, “and it looks like the sky will clear.” What he means is it has been stormy. The storms, not the calm, deliver the new gems, shake loose stuck glass and bring dinner plates from decades ago to the shore no longer round or hard or good for eating off of but amazing and whole in new form.

 

 

I will walk the sand and some gifts I will find, others I will walk past, by or even step on top of without seeing they are under foot. So it goes. We only know what we know, see what we see and learn what we learn at our own pace.

 

  

Catch of the Day:  My life is enriched and not smashed when changed. Even the destruction of historic seeming landmarks can make way for new perspectives, observations and landscapes.

Read Full Post »

Sea Glass Gifts – Photos

As promised, here are pictures of the raw sea glass I received from an anonymous source. It’s stunning and amazing to get such gems from a complete stranger wanting nothing in return.

all of the pieces

 

closer inspection

 

color and texture contrast

In two of these pieces in the top run can’t you almost feel the water rushing and tumbling? I can see the water in the glass as opposed to the image of the glass in the water.

 

 

This green heart reminds me of tender growth, transition and the uncertainty of things taking on new shape. We know the shape and color of a heart. What happens when you mess with the image, or in my case, the roles we take on in life? What happens when they shift from something red, reliable and predictable, and are seen with new eyes? There is something strange but also promising in the green. It’s tender and unfamiliar and yet, brand new, undefined, named or claimed. It offers something unexpected. But, what it was, the pulsing beating rhythmic red heart, is lost. The image, the reality and what picture will come next I do not know…

 

This even lighter, sea foam green, reminds me of a rock sculpture, a form waiting to take shape and solid in shapelessness.  What gifts I was given by a perfect stranger!

Catch of the Day: Living with the uncertain shape and texture of the unexpected.

Read Full Post »

The Sea Glass Fairy & Hingham Farmer’s Market – Sept. 20th

Practical Note:I’ll be back at the Hingham Farmer’s Market for the next five Sat’s to close out the season. Sept. 20th, Sept. 27th, Oct. 4, Oct. 11, Oct. 18 and Oct. 25. It’s the first time I’ve worked as a vendor at a Farmer’s Market. I have to say it’s a vibrant community. And I’ve had some amazing experiences and met many people.

The Sea Glass Fairy

I have to tell a story though. I’m usually particular about having to pick my own sea glass. If my daughter, husband or a friend gives me a piece, I keep it but in general I collect all the pieces I use in my jewelry myself. It feels like what I imagine those cooking from scratch feel like. I want to own the entire process of finding, locating, picking up and plucking a piece to bringing it home, adoring it, deciding what to do with it and then bringing it out to the world.

But last week, a lean woman came over to me near the end of the day. She may have been in her sixties and had a wide and shy smile. She handed me a bag of jewels, sea glass she had found and “plucked” and wanted to give me. The way she handed it to me is the way a mother hands a friend too proud to ask for money but in dire straights a large bill…. tender and determined at the same time, a sort of “here” you can’t say no to.

And I didn’t. I asked if I could hug her though I’m not a big hugger. I told her to take any pieces of my jewelry for herself, for others. She had a prized necklace on she wore all the time and didn’t need a pendant. I showed her earrings, said to take gifts. She took too little for what she gave. More than what was in the petty cash box, the earning’s of the day, was that bag of sea glass. I was tired and didn’t unpack the car but I brought that bag into the house as soon as I came home and I savored each piece.

There were thick piecces, with parts of Coca-Cola spelled out. There were medium and tiny thick and perfect deep dark acqua as well unusual shaped white pieces. She asked to be anonymous and I resepct that but THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU MY SEA GLASS FAIRY. You know who you are. I was so stunned I dont know if I even conveyed my gratitude. I love each and every piece and more that you brought this gift I did not ask for and gave it expecting nothing back. Thank You! 

We all have losses, big and small, that go unasked for and are not always welcome. We take kicks and sometimes are knocked over by life blows and conflict. But there are gifts too – unasked for – and they must be noted as well….

Catch of the day: Gratitude for the unasked for kindness of my sea glass fairy and how glorious and heartened her gift made me feel. 

Read Full Post »

Sea Glass Crafts & Art – Again

I know many who read this blog are sea glass lovers. Many people come by the Hingham Farmer’s market on Sat’s and say, “Now I need to figure out what to do with my” and they might say bag, or jars or collection. People are attached to their own treasures.

So, for those wishing to try to make something with your own piece I’ll share a few links and also say the book,A Passion for Sea Glass is a great resource. The book is about many different artists and includes some “how to” guides as well for attempting similar projects on your own (some seem doable and others quite ambitious but all are inspiring)….

However, here are a few links I haven’t seen or posted before. There are do-it-yourself projects and some wild already-make creations. 

Jewelry

Wire wrapping several pieces of sea glass into a necklace: http://bettyninja.blogspot.com/2008/05/wrap-your-own-sea-glass.html

 

http://www.ehow.com/how_2157650_make-sea-glass-jewelry.html

For Kids to Remember Summer through fall and winter (and grown-ups too)

Beach Jar http://familyfun.go.com/arts-and-crafts/season/feature/famf67project0697/famf67project063097.html

 

Capture Your Beach Memories with a Holiday Beach Ornament: http://parentingteens.about.com/od/christmasornaments/ss/ornaments1_4.htm

 

For those who love mosaics you’ve got to go to this site:

http://mosaicartsource.wordpress.com/2007/04/22/deep-sea-glass-mosaic-work-in-progress-grannys-empire-of-art-san-francisco/ 

O.k., you can customize your own sea glass keds. I’m not even kidding! Is it just me, or is semi-comforting to know there are places beyond the beyond where people can take this passion. I may be seeing the world throughsea glass eyeglasses (and I mean frames and not just the lens’s) http://www.serenityseaglass.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?

If this oesn’t show you anything s possible I don’t know what does. It’s comforting somehow to know there is someone out there maybe even more obsessed with and consumed by sea glass. If so, his person may get my vote… :http://www.zazzle.com/sea_glass_custom_keds_shoes_kedsshoe-167103600734408960

 

This isn’t a how-to but examples of belly button rings, toe rings and wine tags. There are so many directions to move into. http://www.serenityseaglass.com/mm5/merchant.mvc?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=SSG&Category_Code=SIG

 

I’m going to have to pace myself and balance the parenting first and the sea glass collecting, writing, jewelry making and selling with building more skills and learning how to make sea glass art. Day by day is all I can do. I had no idea this entire world existed.

Happy Creatng and admiring.

Sea Glass Girl craving an ocean trip and a back to the basics wire-wrap with minimal if any decorative elements. We’ll see what I create next. I’m thinking pure silver and glass.

Read Full Post »

Sea Glass: Newer Pieces (Summer of 08)

Here are some of my newer pieces. I’ve discovered recycled sterling silver (refined not mined) which goes with my be-as-green-as-you-can-be philosophy. It’s shiny and pretty and some people prefer it. So, these pieces show some sterling silver. I’m also doing earrings and key chains and book marks and have started to make undecorated sea glass pendants. So, here are some newer photos. Again, these are for sale at the Hingham Farmer’s Market (www.hinghamfarmersmarket.org) where I am most every Sat. from 10am to 2pm until late October ’08.

aqua does all the work and the piece is wrapped in sterling

 

again, when the sea glass is aqua little else is needed (sterling silver too)white sea glass, pink heart crystal and gold fill wire

itsometimes the sea glass likes to be alone, unadorned and blueblue earrings, finding matches is more work than anything I dopurple and white and still in test phase to see how the sea glass holds up after many uses

something for the non-jewelry types - a book mark

the gender neutal book mark for the men

I can't keep brown pieces in stock.

pink -and smaller - as people have pointed out not everyone wants to wear two tons of sea glass

hanging necklaces - a samplesea glass with more sea glass - delightful!testing out these key chains to see if the sea glass can handle being tumbled on countertops and dropped on the groundsmalland sweet white, silver and black crystal beadssometimes a less rounded and flatter piece of sea glass sits nice on the necklinethe pottery tumbled by the ocean is stunning as well though I have far fewer pieces like thisfinally,i like to use beads at the top of the sea glass too and purple is one of my favorite necklace colors. this has a sterling silver wrap too.

These photos give a good idea of the type of work I do. However, sometimes the sea glass speaks and I just try to “listen” and see if it wants to be “hugged” with wire as my friend K says I am fond of doing, or if it wants to be alone without any decorative elements. And other times I’m drawn to playing with new techniques and tools. The one thing my work always has is SEA GLASS!

Read Full Post »

Sea Glass: My “Raw” Obsession & Collection

There are gems I can’t part with, pieces so perfect I only want to touch and view. I have a fondness for bottle necks and bases. I loved ridges and edges and letters and numbers. Clues. All of these are clues as to what a piece may have been. Colors matter. I love the variety. But the thick texture of a piece tumbled since pre-historic times, seems to hold my imagination. Now, I “know” the glass didn’t exist before the beasts but what lurks in that water that’s awe inspiring and doesn’t have the Jaws movie sound track? This can keep me occupied for hours.

 

Chunks of Stunning

 It’s not the Titanic like jewels tossed into the water, the actual gems I hope will surface but the ones transformed. So for me, even loving sea glass is about loving the way nature smoothes and transforms, carries and heals broken pieces into something holy and whole as they arrive on sure. And it is amazing to e how marbles and bottles ride the tide and tumble the deep and are not broken. The resilience of those pieces is staggering considering how unlikely it is to be tumbled and weathered and remain entirely whole. But, at this stage in my life, I am drawn to bottle necks, bases and fragments of an unidentified whole – the piece that breaks off and writes a new story as it travels.

I’ve put up some of the pieces I work with and turn into pendants, earrings, book marks and key chains (o.k., well I’ve only shown pendants but I’ll fix that in the next post), but here I will share a glimpse into my collection – or as my daughter says, “a collection of collections.”

The bottle neck collection

 

whites and greens

 

marbles and bases

 

Another angle on stunning and chunky

Beautiful gift and browns

 O.k., these pictures may reveal how I also collect dust on the mantle.

Catch of the Day: Gratitude for ALL of the bounty in my life.

Read Full Post »