Unearthed at the Ocean
This morning, with my eyes closed, the ocean sounds like the breath of the universe. She inhales a gulp of water, retracts, holds and releases again. It’s not all calm and centered though. The sand, rocks and even the cement base of the stairs leading to to the ocean’s dry and traversable areas are subject to her moods and have been cracked and swept away in large chunks.
Everything can be rearranged, the earth, friendships, the solid foundations once unquestioned. It is terrifying and awe-inspiring to see the ocean in her power. I’ve walked the same beach for over a year, regularly, and seen changes. There are deep crevices in the sand, pits and water paths where once there were only tiny pebbles. Huge rocks, once looking as solid as mountains have been dislodged, and turned into soccer balls rolling the ocean base.
What was once almost a Getty like structure is starting, near the end, to have a mutiny. Lone rocks once holding together as part of a team or a famous band are split by tides and independent explorers pursuing solo career paths.
The ocean is constant but how she weathers the sand, the beach line and the rocks are not. In my friendships, boundaries get changed and it’s not always clear if a protective wall is coming down to to allow that great honesty and intimacy or if a crack in the foundation not repaired let dirt, insects and mold find a haven. Humbled, over and over, by the knowing that good intentions aren’t always enough and also more optimistic than ever that even the shape of change is not always a scary shadow on the bedroom wall.
“There should be some good hunting today,” my husband said, “and it looks like the sky will clear.” What he means is it has been stormy. The storms, not the calm, deliver the new gems, shake loose stuck glass and bring dinner plates from decades ago to the shore no longer round or hard or good for eating off of but amazing and whole in new form.
I will walk the sand and some gifts I will find, others I will walk past, by or even step on top of without seeing they are under foot. So it goes. We only know what we know, see what we see and learn what we learn at our own pace.
Catch of the Day: My life is enriched and not smashed when changed. Even the destruction of historic seeming landmarks can make way for new perspectives, observations and landscapes.