My daughter DELIGHTED in sea glass hunting tonight. She found a “magical” rock which she knew guaranteed we’d find sea glass. She, at six, even placed glass for me to find and I did and then she smiled so big. At six, she’s creating “magic” for me but unlike some adults, she still feels it’s magical. She found an enormous piece of teal, a large chunky white with letters and then a bottle neck. She found browns and frosted whites and greens and “baby pieces” and said, “I find like twenty and you found like ten.”
I saw the hunt through her eyes and realize she had been feeling a “less than” sea glass hunter. She said, “I tell myself you can still be proud of yourself even if you don’t find as many pieces as your mother. You might try that.” She said how much MORE fun it was to find MORE pieces than I had found. I didn’t realize she felt defeated when I found more. This time, after finding and bagging several pieces she said, “Can I find a particular color for you?” She said, “you can have the next green if you want.” She loved being magnanimous and feeling she had so much she had extra to share. I finally “got it” and just let her hunt and backed off the accumulating I usually do so she could enjoy being the expert.
I didn’t pick up as much sea glass but I stood on a magical rock, I did hip hop moves on another rock while she laughed and then we went rock hopping on slimy wet rocks and I tried to follow and keep up with her. We held hands and walked and said, “I Love You” and enjoyed the sun after a rainy day. She couldn’t wait to show her father her “finds” and what finds she had. Near the end of our walk she found an orange brown yellow piece with ridges which was almost square in shape and so smooth. She placed the rock on the sand to SHOW me how she found it, how she was just walking along and it appeared.
This last year she has become so bored with sea glass hunting and in my passion for sea glass I had not noticed how she felt overshadowed or as though she couldn’t keep up or as though she wasn’t good enough at it because she wasn’t finding as much. Tonight, I didn’t look quite so hard because her joy at discovery, her love of sand seeking, her delight at stones and shells and crabs and sea glass, was my catch of the day. Also, for her to taste her own love of the hunt, to say, “feel these edges, look at this” and to know for herself how fun it is to find your own pieces, so many you can give some away, is a gift. It may not be a passion she keeps or it may be one that comes and goes, but it was wonderful to watch her delight in hunting and to put down my need for a new piece or another piece and follow her lead.
Side Note: My daughter is pretty private but I will say that she had her first thoughts about what a “real” mother is and who for her that is when she has a gave birth to her and a mother who raises her. We talked about what is and isn’t real, who is and isn’t real, and I am grateful we can talk freely about deep stuff so that it doesn’t have an air or weight of heaviness but is a conversation. We needed our time tonight to walk and read at bed and have extra hugs. I’m grateful to be her mother and to be real.
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